July 5, 2008

Secret #3 – Stop Beating Yourself Up

So did you take me up on my challenge from secret #2? Did you push past your story and uncover what it is that you are truly afraid of? What did you uncover? Remember, once you have identified the fear, you can begin to work on the real issue and begin setting the foundation to have all that you desire. The first step is identifying what you are the most afraid of – this can be difficult because our stories help us keep that fear hidden. Remember, if you can’t get out of your story and get to the core of what is keeping you stuck, be sure to ask for support. Until you release the fear – you are inhibited by it and then you can’t have all that you truly desire in life. Again, the choice is yours.  What will it be? Will you choose to be stuck in your story and inhibited by fear, or will you choose to unravel your story and push through the fear and discover your greatness? My hope is that you choose the latter rather than the former.  Trust me–the rewards on the other side are worth it! Maybe "Secret #3: Stop Beating Yourself Up" will be your incentive to get moving if you haven’t already.
As promised – the third secret is "Stop Beating Yourself Up".  I think it is fair to say that we are all our own greatest critics. I bet if I asked you to list five things that you don’t like about yourself you could easily come up with a list and could easily surpass the five and fill up a whole page right? If that is the case, then I encourage you to read on so you can learn how to stop beating yourself up.
In a recent survey participants were asked, “What are you the most afraid of?” The overwhelming response was failure (50%), the runner up was embarrassment (30%). I began to wonder why that was. After all, who defines what failure is or what an embarrassing moment looks like? Could it be you? Could you be your own worst critic?
How about if you stop beating yourself up about things that you perceive as a failure, and start using the experience as a learning opportunity. Rather than saying, “boy was that stupid” or “I am such a loser”, stop and take a moment to thank the situation for an opportunity learned. Ask yourself, “what can I learn from this experience?” Then appreciate that you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. I know that if you knew what you know now, you would have done differently, right?
So my challenge to you is, stop beating yourself up and start congratulating yourself for what you have learned! And, if nothing else, congratulate yourself for taking a risk even if it didn’t turn out the way you thought it should. Here's to your greatness!

Need support in changing your perception of yourself. Are ready to start revealing your greatness to the world? Are you ready to stop beating yourself up? If so, then sign up for a coaching session today and begin celebrating your greatness!

Be sure to come back next time when I reveal strategies for secret #4: "Question Everything you Know".

See you next time!

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

July 1, 2008

Living Passionately Radio Show - July 3, 2008 Episode

This week's show is a must if you feel that you have no control over your life, that you are stuck with what life has dealt you, you have no power to change it and you beat yourself up regularly with negative self talk. The topic of this week's show is the Impact of Choices & Self Talk During Divorce Recovery. The show airs live every Thursday at 1:00 PM Pacific/4:00 PM Eastern. Please call in with your questions at 1-866-472-5788.

Show Details are Below: 

 

Are you struggling to make sense out of your life now that divorce is a part of it? Do you struggle with negativity or low self-esteem? Do you feel as if you have lost control over your life? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then you will want to tune in as I interview Michelle Blacksher, Certified Master Relationship Coach and owner of Restored Hope Coaching (www.mannacoaching.com) on the subject of Choices and Self Talk During Divorce Recovery. 

Believe it or not we do have choices during the divorce recovery process; Michelle will share with you how to become empowered by the choices you make. We will also be discussing how self talk has a huge impact on your divorce recovery process - learn how to replace the negative self talk with more proactive and positive self talk. If you want to take back control, actively participate in the designing of your future after divorce and rebuild your self esteem - then this is a show you won't want to miss.

 

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 20, 2008

14 Dating Strategies Teleseminar

Do you wonder why the old dating and mating practices don’t seem to work?

As the divorce rate seems to skyrocket, don't you wish you could learn the way to create a successful long lasting and sustaining partnership with another person in today’s world?

Well, Coach Lisa Fredette is here to help you!

Join Lisa for the

14 Dating Strategies Teleseminar

on

July 14, 2008

at 8:30pm EDT

for a fun and fascinating presentation that will expose the harmful dating and relationship traps, as well as provide tips to help you avoid them.

Being single is a golden opportunity to prepare for the life and relationship you really deserve. We all want to be in happy and fulfilling relationships. Few singles seem to realize the choices they make when single can sabotage or enhance their success in a future relationship.  

How you will benefit from attending this teleseminar:

  • Get answers to your dating questions
  • Find out your level of readiness for a long term relationship
  • Realize how the choices you make while single affect your future relationships
  • Learn the tips that can enhance relationships
  • Understand the harmful relationship traps and how to avoid them

The 14 Dating Strategies Teleseminar is only $17, so don't wait to register. You just need to fill out the form below to participate in this 90 minute teleseminar.

Allow Lisa  to show you how to GET OUT of  the traps that are keeping you involved with the wrong person and making you unavailable when the right one comes along.

 

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

Secret #2 – Symptoms Not the Cause

So did you take me up on my challenge from last time? Did you give yourself permission to have what it is that you want out of life? How does it feel? What - you say you didn’t do it? Let me guess, you allowed that long laundry list of reasons, no I guess I should say excuses, stop you from getting what you want. As I have said many times, the choice is yours – you either choose to make changes or you choose to stay stuck. What will you choose?
Maybe secret number two will give you the incentive you need to make the changes. Or if you took me up on my challenge, congratulations, you are well on your way to regaining your passion for life.
As promised – the second secret is Symptoms not the Cause: Getting out of your Story. We all have our stories and these stories support our actions, so we often times feel justified in how our life looks and why we don’t have what we want. Many call this being the victim. The first step in getting out of your story is being aware of your story. Let me explain.
We all have our stories. What does your story look like? Your story is probably the symptom and not the cause of why you don’t have your heart’s desire. By working with the true cause, fear, you can eliminate the symptom and you can have all that you want.
Let me give you an example; one of my clients came to me because of her overwhelming feeling of jealousy. She felt uncomfortable with her husband’s friendship with one of her friends. She truly believed that was what she needed support with. Unbeknownst to her the jealously was only the symptom not the cause for her feelings of insecurity. Through the coaching sessions she was able to uncover the cause - fear of being alone and the symptom, jealousy, went away.
I challenge you to push past your story and uncover what it is that you are truly afraid of, could it be fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of embarrassment. Once you have identified the fear you can begin to work on the real issue and begin setting the foundation to have all that you desire.
Having a hard time deciphering the difference between your story and what is really going on? Are you ready to face fear in the face and get to the real truth? Not able to do it alone then ask for support by signing up for a sample coaching session today. Let’s unravel your story together.
Be sure to come back next time when I reveal strategies for secret number three: Stop Beating Yourself Up! See you again soon!

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 18, 2008

Living Passionately Radio Show - June 19, 2008 Episode

This week's show is a must if you are divorced and are sharing custody with your Ex-Spouse. The topic of this week's show is Joint Custody with a Jerk. The show airs live every Thursday at 1:00 PM Pacific/4:00 PM Eastern. Please call in with your questions at 1-866-472-5788. 

Show details below:

Are you sharing custody with your ex-spouse? Do you cringe every time you need to interact with your ex regarding your children? Does it seem like every discussion turns into a battle? Do you ever feel like you are co-parenting with a jerk? If you can relate to any of these questions then you want to be sure to tune in as I interview Julie A. Ross, M.A. co-author of Joint Custody with a Jerk - Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex (http://www.parentinghorizons.com). 

Julie's book has some fabulous strategies that can be implemented right now - taking away the struggles that many parents face when co-parenting with an ex. After this interview and after reading Julie's book you will have some real concrete ways to deal more effectively with your ex. You surely won't want to miss this show if you have any desire to bring back some peace and sanity into your life, not only for you but for your children as well.

Come listen live to Living Passionately: Getting Beyond Divorce

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 17, 2008

Fearlessly Speaking with Jacqueline Wales

I was recently interviewed by Jacqueline Wales owner of Fearless Fifties and the host of Fearlessly Speaking - The Talk Radio with Attitude.
 
Listen in as we discuss how divorce affects the Baby Boomer generation. Learn how if used correctly - a transition such as divorce can be your launching pad to greatness. Find out how baby boomers can turn their divorce into a celebration of life!

Listen Now: 

Click here lisafredette.com/blog/interviews-2/ to listen to other interviews!

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 12, 2008

Child Centered Divorce - Tune in Today at 1:00 PM Pacific/4:00 PM Eastern

Rosalind Sedacca, The Voice of Child Centered Divorce will be my guest today on the Living Passionately - Getting Beyond Divorce Radio Show. The show airs live every Thursday at 1:00 pm Pacific/4:00 pm Eastern so be sure to tune in and call with your questions at 1-866-472-5788.
 
Today's Show details are listed below:

If you’re a parent facing divorce or the challenges of parenting post-divorce tune in as I interview Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love!  

Learn how to create a positive, child-centered divorce that will positively support you and your children for years to come. Recognized as the Voice of Child Centered Divorce, (http://www.childcentereddivorce.com) Rosalind will share valuable insights about preparing your children for separation or divorce. Her strategies will enable you to have a healthy dialogue with your children so they feel safe, involved and heard. 

Rosalind’s innovative new book provides fill-in-the-blank templates to help you create a personal family storybook as a proven tool for breaking the news. She also shares expertise on co-parenting and maintaining family relationships. If you want to master parenting through and after divorce, you won’t want to miss this show.

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 10, 2008

Financial Advice for Recently Divorced Women

One of the most common challenge that comes up for women who are facing divorce is - "Will I be able to survive financially without my spouse's income"? I posed this question to Cindy Morus, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and owner of Don't Divorce your Money. See her response below:

Lisa: What advice can you give recently divorced women on how to manage their finances now that they are facing life as a single mom on a limited income? What should be their first priority? 

Cindy: Hi, that’s a really great question and I’m sure most newly divorced single moms are wondering the same thing. I could write a book about that! Seriously, there are several things you’ll need to do to manage your finances now – some “outer” and some “inner”.
 
Outer:
 
  1. Live below your means. That means creating a spending plan that takes future expenses into consideration including car repairs, home repairs and medical expenses. I recommend www.INGDirect.com for keeping that money.
  2. Take advantage of any government programs you are eligible for such as food stamps or free/reduced meals for your children. You may also be eligible for Earned Income Credit – check with your Tax Preparer (H&R Block doesn’t charge you to do estimates).
  3. Review your employer’s benefit programs such as 401k (the match is free money and your contributions reduce your income taxes), health savings accounts (also reduce your taxes). Also check to see that you don’t have too much being taken out of your paycheck for taxes. It’s always nice to get a tax refund but it’s been your money all along and you lend it to the government interest free all year.  
Inner:
 
  1. Take time to play. Play with your kids, play with your friends and take time for yourself. Kids don’t need you to spend money on them, they would rather play make-believe or bake cookies with you. When my kids were little, we used to have “no silverware dinner” – ribs or chicken nuggets, oven fries, veggie sticks or artichokes (“Mom, who do you think invented artichokes,” they would ask). They’re teenagers now and they still get a kick out of seeing only plates and napkins on the table. Get together with other single moms for a potluck or picnic at the park or movie night – you don’t have to go out to have fun. Do a babysitting swap so you can have time for yourself – just to read, take a walk or a bubble bath.
  2. Express Gratitude Daily. Even though times are tough, it will get better. Expressing gratitude can keep life bright for you. It’s a great tool to teach your children, too. Practice giving back – help them weed for an elderly neighbor or pick up a few groceries for someone who’s housebound. Work together at a food bank or a Habitat for Humanity project.
  3. Talk to kids about money. Teach them how to figure out unit costs and sale prices. Teach them how to make choices. Teach them about saving for things they want in the near future and far away like college. When they ask for something, ask them “how can we make that happen?” rather than “we can’t afford that”. Offer to match money they’ve saved or help them make money. Give them an allowance appropriate to their age and transfer responsibility to them. For example, make the entertainment money you hand them out of pocket part of their allowance and the same for clothing. An allowance doesn’t have to mean that you are giving them any more money than you are already spending on them but that you let them decide how to spend it. They’ll stop “nickel and diming” you and you’ll be surprised at the choices them make when it’s their money rather than yours!
     
    Want to learn more from Cindy Morus about what to consider about your finances when divorcing? Then tune in on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 as I interview Cindy as one of my guests of the Spring 2008 Passionate Growth Teleseminar Series. Don't delay sign up today! 

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 5, 2008

The 5 Secrets to Regaining your Passion for Life

Are you tired of pleasing everyone else? Do you wish you had more time to do the things you want to do? Have you lost your passion for life? If so then follow along with me over the next five articles as I reveal the 5 Secrets to Regaining your Passion for Life.
 
This article is one of five – each article I will reveal one of the 5 secrets to regaining your passion for life. So be sure to come back to find out the next secret. The first secret is:
 
Secret #1 – Give yourself Permission
 
Do you remember what happened, when you were a child, if you forgot to ask for permission to do something? I am guessing you got punished. I wonder, is the same true today? Are you still punishing yourself for not asking permission?
 
What is it that you want more of – time, money, love, happiness? Why do you think you don’t have it? I am sure you can come up with a whole laundry list of reasons (excuses), but it all comes down to one thing. You don’t have what you want most in life because you don’t believe you deserve it and you haven’t given yourself permission to get it. There is no other reason - even if you did come up with a long laundry list of others.
 
My challenge to you today is to look in the mirror and say to yourself – “I give myself permission to have what I want in life.” Then go out and get it – no excuses.
 
If you take me up on my challenge I would love to hear your results. Feel free to email me at coach@lisafredette.com and share your experience.  If you find you can’t do it alone then ask for support, sign up for a sample coaching session and gain the support you need so you too can have all that you desire.
 
Now that you have received the first secret – Give Yourself Permission and are willing to take me up on my challenge, you are on your way to regaining your passion for life and have all that you want and desire.
 
The second secret to finding passion for life again is, The Symptom not the Cause – getting out of your story. Be sure to come back and read article number two where I will reveal the strategies for secret number two. 
 

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print

June 2, 2008

Stop Arguing and Start Loving

Be sure to tune in this Thursday at 1:00 pm Pacific/4:00 pm Eastern to the Living Passionately: Getting Beyond Divorce Radio Show where I will be interviewing Lee Raffel author of I Hate Conflict - 7 Steps to Resolving Differences with Anyone in your Life and learn how to deal with the conflict in your life. The details for the  show are below. Now remember the show airs live and listeners are encouraged to call in and ask questions. Here is the number to call 866-472-5788.  Don't let conflicts ruin your relationships - find out how to resolve your differences so you can stop arguing and start loving again!
 

Stop Arguing/Start Loving - 5 Conflict Strategies

Do you hate conflict? Do you feel like you are always at odds with your significant other, family members, co-workers? Are you tired of arguing with your ex? Is the stress of your divorce causing unnecessary anxiety and conflict in your life and relationships? Learn how to Stop Arguing and Start Loving during my interview with Lee Raffel author of I Hate Conflict - 7 Steps to Resolving Differences with Anyone in Your Life (http://www.leeraffel.com). Lee Raffel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, licensed clinical social worker and is also the author of Should I Stay or Go? - How Controlled Separation Can Save your Marriage. Lee has also appeared on the Today Show and Good Morning New York. If you are like me and shy away from conflict or are tired of having conflict in your life due to unresolved issues with your ex spouse, then this is the show you will not want to miss.

Filed under Blog by Lisa

Permalink • Print
Next Page »